When I need to explain myself, to myself, where do I go? Right here to dump my brain and thoughts into a medium update. So read on if you would like, or don’t this is for me.
Lately I’ve been really sick. Like for the last three weeks I have been battling a sinus/ upper respiratory/ ear infection. (No, it’s not COVID I tested 3 times). But the drainage coughs I have, have not been fun in public.
Anyways, this leads me to my ‘point’, I have been trying REALLY hard to get a piece finished for an October 1st submission & it’s simply not going to happen. I thought if I gave myself a few days to rest that this dang sickness would go away, but it’s hanging on. I have been exhausted and every time I try to force myself to work on the piece nothing comes out, or something starts and then I scrap it because it’s either too much or not the direction I wanted to go. I kid you not, I have scrapped and COMPLETELY re-started the piece six times. I also have almost 1000 words of typed notes, a document with about 4 or 5 different starts, and three notebook pages full of notes. I currently have just over 800 words to the actual piece, with a format I think I am going to keep going with. But, then I hit a wall & now I am here writing this to take my mind somewhere else, in hopes that it will ease my writers block. It usually does.
I don’t want to get into what the piece is about, even though now I know I am not going to make the submission deadline, because I do not know what I am going to do with it or where I am going to share it when I finish it. I know it most likely won’t be on medium, only because I feel it is worthy of publication somewhere. I know that is saying a lot, but I really wanna do this one right. It means a lot to me, and maybe I will share a different version of it here, if only to tell my story more fully for the people who follow me here. However, it is something I think I will take a lot further, and turn into a much larger piece someday. This submission prompt has given me a lot to think about, and I have really big plans for it….eventually. The story to it isn’t finished yet, and I don’t know when it will be, but I know writing it will be therapeutic for me when the time comes. I have been more than overwhelmed for MANY days trying to do it right, and on top of being sick it just wasn’t going to happen right now. But in due time, it will. I know I am rambling on now, this is how my brain has felt for the last week. I don’t know how to start, where the body should go, or even how to end.
So I guess with that said, I will sign off and say goodnight. Cheers!
